For years I thought about starting a nonprofit organization, but it always seems like too much trouble. Oh, all that paperwork and decisions! I even bought all the how-to books from Nolo Press. But the idea always bit the dust.

Lalich Center inspiration

Then, a few years ago, I started to think about it more seriously. In part because I was getting older. In part because one day I looked through all the files on my computer and was startled at how much I have written over the years, at all the conference presentations and PowerPoints, at all my expert opinion briefs for legal cases, all the published and social-media interviews. In part, because of unforeseen circumstances, my dear friend and mentor Dr. Margaret Thaler Singer, the preeminent cult expert for decades, hadn’t managed to leave behind an organized legacy when she died (bless her heart). In part, because of all the help I’ve been asked for – from survivors, from families and friends of someone entrapped in a cult, from educators and mental-health professionals and attorneys. In part, because my bounded choice concept has been a breakthrough in explaining what happens to people in cults and why they do the things they do that are perhaps incomprehensible to those on the outside. Most important, it brings cult survivors clarity and substance and a healing understanding. It explains not only what was done to them, but also how it was done. And also because of all the letters and messages and emails from people around the world thanking me for my work and most especially my book, Take Back Your Life: Recovering from Cults and Abusive Relationships.

Recovery Courses Begin

Then, in 2021, I started co-leading recovery courses for survivors on Zoom. Participants came from everywhere: all over the U.S., Canada, Mexico, Denmark, Spain, Scotland, Ireland, England, Holland, Slovenia, and more. I began to realize more and more the impact I’ve had on so many people. And I started working with some of the most skilled and compassionate survivors, who wanted to help.

Common cult survivor difficulties

During that time, it also hit home that most cult survivors have such a hard time finding help when they leave the cult. They may go to a domestic violence shelter and then are turned away because they “don’t qualify.” If they were born in a cult, they may leave the cult not even knowing their real name or have no birth certificate. Because most have been “home-schooled” in the cult (such a joke – all they study are the leader’s speeches), they don’t know how the educational system works or how to get a GED. They have no resources and many end up being homeless and fall into bad times on the street. Even in less dire circumstances, they hardly have the money to pay for therapy. I was almost 41 when I left the cult I was in and I had absolutely no money – and in fact, was in debt. I realized that in order to continue with my work, I needed funding and financial support.

An awkward beginning

So, at age 77, I bit the bullet and formed a 501(c)(3) nonprofit, the Lalich Center on Cults and Coercion. Before long, I had a fabulous, wise and caring Board of Directors and a core team of dedicated and skilled survivors. It was awkward for me at first – being the head of something, being referred to as the “Grand Poohbah.” But I had to accept it and acknowledge what I’ve accomplished and not let it go to waste.

My legacy

I see the Lalich Center both as a tribute to Dr. Singer and also as my legacy. My professional life is at a place where I am bombarded daily with requests – from media people to someone trying to leave a cult. Even if I were Wonder Woman, I can no longer do this alone. And thankfully, I have aligned myself with a dedicated team who want to carry on with this work.

One survivor’s tragic journey

I’m going to relate one of my experiences here, hoping it will convey why this work means so much to me and touches the very core of my being. In 2018, I was hired as expert witness in a criminal case involving a young black woman named Nashika, who lived in Georgia, with her two young daughters, Makayla and Hannah. In 2015 Nashika was recruited over the telephone by a so-called spiritual leader in North Carolina. Believing in his promises for salvation, she moved there to join the small group of his followers. When she arrived, she and her children were cleansed, their hair was cut, they were subjected to various rituals, and Nashika became a loyal follower of the apocalyptic group. Eventually, they were evicted from the apartment. They piled into two cars and spent about a year traveling around the country. During that trip, Madani Ceus, the leader’s wife, overthrew him and she became the leader, taking complete control. She announced that she was Yahweh, or God, and they must obey her.

While at a gas station in Norwood, Colorado, they met a young man, Alec Blair, whom Madani decided was St. Michael. He invited them to stay at his farm, and before long, he, too, was a devout member of the group. Madani controlled when they ate, what they ate, and the members’ sexual relationships. She forced Nashika and Alec to have sex. Madani always disliked Nashika’s daughters. In July 2017, she banished Makayla (10) and Hannah (8) to be locked in a car, saying that they were “whores in their past life” and were spreading evil spirits. Madani ordered that the girls be given no food or water. Two months later, the farm was raided by the police. The two girls were still in the car, so decomposed that it was impossible for the medical examiner to conclude if they died from starvation, dehydration or hypothermia. Madani and all her followers were all arrested.

Nashika’s Trial

At this point, Nashika was pregnant with Alec’s child. She gave birth in prison awaiting trial; while she tried to have the authorities give the child to her aunt, instead the child was put in the system. Nashika will likely never know where that child went. Nashika was facing life in prison without parole, and I was hired by her defense attorney to help the judge and jury understand her indoctrinated mindset and why she didn’t try to rescue her daughters. We were hoping to mitigate the sentence to at least life with parole. Unfortunately, the clever Prosecutor convinced that judge to not allow me to testify about Madani’s cult or Nashika’s experience. I could only speak about cults in general.

The sentence

Nashika was found guilty by the jury in July 2019; in October, she was given two life sentences without parole. (Meanwhile, Madani was acquitted of murder and convicted of two counts of felony child abuse resulting in death and received a far lighter sentence than Nashika.) When the court was adjourned, Nashika turned around and hugged me, as she was taken out of the courtroom. “I’m so sorry,” I said. “It’s ok,” she replied. “I thank you for everything. You were the only one who understood.”

Almost 3 years later, in April 2022, I received a letter from Nashika. My hands shook as I opened the envelope with a return address from a Colorado prison. With many tears in my eyes, I read over and over what she wrote:

“Take Back Your Life” from prison

*How have you been? I hope and pray that all is well with you. I want to let you know that I more than appreciate you and all of the work & time that you’ve invested into studying Psychology and Sociology. And the dynamics of cults. I feel that hearing you speak in the courtroom and on the phone that day about cults helped snap me back into reality, along with your book “Take Back Your Life.” It took me two years to come back to myself with medication and a day-to-day struggle to get my mind back. That whole experience felt like I was in another dimension. It was definitely beyond scary. Thanks to you, I was able to “reawaken.” I don’t think I will ever be who I was before I met those people, but I am determined to bring awareness to everyone who is blind to these things happening. I am in the process of writing a book (with my sister), explaining the cult experience that my children and I suffered, and that it could happen to anyone.

I would like to be an advocate/spokesperson to ex-cult survivors and those who have suffered human trafficking. I may be behind these prison walls, but I still have a voice….

Well, Dr. Lalich, I am so grateful to the Universe for you. I am beyond thankful for your and I greatly and truly appreciate you. I truly felt there was no one in the world who understood let alone explain what we went through, and then you showed up. I’m so sorry that the judge didn’t let you testify on my behalf. That’s just the way the corrupt justice system is set up. But deep down I trust in my heart that the truth will be known and I will be vindicated in some way somehow.

I don’t want to hold up your time. I just wanted you to know sincerely from my heart that I thank you!*

My motivation

And that’s why I do what I do.

And why I quite deliberately added “coercion” to the name of the nonprofit. This is the battle – or one of the battles – that we must engage in now. This concept is not yet understood or accepted by law enforcement or the legal system. And it’s probably the biggest barrier for cult victims to get help, to be understood, to not be blamed, and to get justice. No, a 40-year-old woman who doesn’t budge without approval from her long-distant “energy worker,” who gives him hundreds of thousands of dollars of family money, who gives her children the “magical” potions he prescribes, who has been convinced that her husband is harming her path to enlightenment – no, she is not doing that willfully. She has been deeply influenced by a charlatan and is not herself. That is just one example of what coercion is about.

My commitment

I intend to continue this work as long as I’m able – hold professional development meetings with my team and new volunteers, provide commentary for documentaries, moderate survivor discussion groups, serve as expert witness in cult-related cases, have a presence on social media, go to conferences, speak on podcasts galore, and, as I see it, “turn a bad thing (my own past cult experience) into a good thing.” Yes, my cult involvement affected me, but it did not define me. Everything I did afterwards is what defines me, is who I became.

So, whenever it happens that my ashes are whooshed into
the Mediterranean Sea, I will be happy in knowing that this
work continues.